My partner in class
Olivia and I don't have very much in common but we were almost both born in the same year and we both like romantic movies.
She has studied English longer than me. She has been at UNITEC for 3 months whereas I have been here for only two months and 3 weeks. She came here because she wants to study Travel at Massy University so needs to have an IELTS score of 6.5. I want to get a job as an architect so I hope to study Architecture at UNITEC and then get a Master degree in America.
I'm the youngest in my family and I have 14 brothers and 12 sisters older than me who lives in Saudi Arabia so I don't see them often. The last time I saw them was two months and three weeks ago, before I came to New Zealand. Both my parents are a life and they now in Saudi Arabia. Olivia parents pay to UNITEC to let their child to study English and growing up with her studies.
She hasn't done very much traveling but would love to go to Paris in France with her boyfriend.
She would like to live in Paris if she could because she thinks it would be very helpful than China to save money. Also she loves money very much. About her daily life, she wakes up at 7:30 a.m. She drives to school by her car without breakfast, eat lunch at12 p.m, diner at 6:30 p.m. and she sleep at around 11 p.m.
Bader,
ReplyDeleteThis is great writing!
"She has studied English longer than me. She has been at UNITEC for 3 months whereas I have been here for only two months and 3 weeks. She came here because she wants to study Travelling at Massy University so needs to have an IELTS score of 6.5. Want to get a job as an architect so I hope to study Architecture at UNITEC and then get a Master degree in America."
study Travelling = study Travel
I want to get a job.... (don't forget your subject)
You've connected your ideas really well, your sequencing is good and your grammar is excellent!
Nice job!
"She leaves to school by her car without breakfast and eat lunch at around 12 p.m. and diner at 6:30 p.m."
This could be improved:
She leaves for school (preposition) by her car...
But it would be better to write: She drives to school (drives shows it's by car, so it's more succinct).
Subject/verb agreement: eats lunch at around 12 pm and dinner (spelling) at 6:30 pm
Great work!
Hilary
Thank you teacher Hilary for your comments, it was very helpful.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Hilary -- great writing Bader. Your paragraphs are well organised and clear.
ReplyDeleteRemember to keep writing regularly -- I hope to see more on your blog! :)
Marcus